Asking for Help-an underrated skill

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Hi, hope you are doing well.

I'm here to share stuff, I am really bad at. though I am learning it. Before my point, let me ask you something. 

when was the last time you asked for help from someone?

when was the last time you shared your stuff with someone?

I'm not asking with whom, maybe it's your family your friend, your lover, or a stranger can be anyone, but did you share?

was it intentional or did you just spit out randomly?

did you feel any guilt sharing that you were holding from the last few days or weeks or months or years?

and how are you feeling now?

I won't ask if you got any answer, whether your problem is solved or not. 

just how you are feeling after sharing what's flinging your chest and blocking your mind from the past few days.

okay so, today I am sharing my part. When I realized that I didn't how to ask for help from someone. Why I'm stuck at, I'll be okay. 

so what happened is, In June 2017 I met a person online; who is a friend of my friend. we started talking. from discussing random things, from politics to Bollywood we would discuss and get 10 mins to fight over different opinions. Every time he would share anything, I'd listen to it. that was our daily thing. time flies, and over the stress or loneliness we both shared each other's daily space for at least 10-15 minutes. but the catch is I haven't met this person till 2023. Just video calls, calls, and text is all we had. every time we plan to meet something happens. You know the universe decides. our plans are just a mere thought. on a serious note, we are very eager to meet each other and finally, we met in May 2023. okay, so the meeting was to be discussed in a different blog. the main thing is that after meeting my 71-month-old friend, my expectations went up. although I never paid attention to my space in his life, now I need to know where I stand. even the term isn't expectation is negative, because when you give your time and your presence to someone; in alter you expect them to be with you. then the point started hitting me that I was there for him, but he wasn't for me. he stayed a bit busy when I needed something, and he used to sleep even after knowing I was feeling low. even a time came when he ignored me. I don't know why. just everything changed in a few months. I knew the logic growing apart but this was clear he was ignoring. maybe he got new friends and may be no more interested in me but it was something that was disturbing me mentally, There is a word in vocab "Attachment"; I knew the meaning of the word that day though  I had come across the word often. 

he always managed to excuse it but it was never enough for me. I kept searching for the validation that I had before. those few months I tried being out of social media, and skipped my favourite sessions, plans, and many more. yeah, we are in contact now still he may not be aware of it.

I must share how I came out of that loop. 

One day, Randomly without any intention of talking about anything to anyone, I met one of my colleagues. He discussed some of his problems; so unintentionally I too talked about him. and he asked me will you play with your punctured favourite ball? no right. you play with the ball because it bounces back. you enjoy the process. it gives your energy back to you. then why are you stuck with someone just because he is your favourite?  Replacing the punctured things is necessary.

And I got my answer.

it's not that I don't know what to do in this situation but my emotional side wasn't ready to accept the fact until someone prompted me it. 

it may sound so weird to you but it is not. someone who is suffering, may after reading this get his answer. for you, the air may be easily consumable but someone is struggling to inhale. What you see is always a micro picture. the macro will define the truth. we have been so strong that we never know how to ask for help. few of us don't know when or how to break down. we bleed on people, who genuinely try to heal us. Before that wound becomes a scar. ask for help, share it and heal.

We don't deserve the pain, We are in.